As a kid, I enjoyed watching Barney the dinosaur. He was like the best playmate ever, even though he had a one-dimensional personality. So when his first feature-length film came out... (I'll admit: I didn't see it until it came out on video)... there were mixed emotions on it. Most people took a mean stab at it; others had that "leave Britney alone!" kind of attitude on it. But what about me? But first, let's get the title out of the way: Barney's Great Adventure.
I can see why people loved or hated this movie. Some people probably feared that this was going to be another Thomas and the Magic Railroad mishap. Some people probably thought that this is harmless to the kids. As for me, I'm not sure if this movie was to increase viewership of the PBS show or not. IDK. However, there are some okay things about this movie. But do they still hold up? Well, let's take a look and then decide for yourself. This is my first Mystery Review revealed: Barney's Great Adventure.
Opening Scene:
Barney: "Oh boy! It looks like everybody's here!"
Baby Bop: "Oh! I can't wait to eat popcorn, and sing along, and- I want to see the movie!"
-Uh, show don't tell...
So as the credits roll, we see our main kid characters Cody (played by Trevor Morgan), Abby (played by Diana Rice), and Marcella (played by a young Kyla Pratt) on their way to the grandparents' house. But what's a car ride without Barney, because they have the Barney doll with them.
Marcella: "Barney can walk and talk."
Abby: "And sing and dance..."
Marcella: "Barney can walk and talk."
Abby: "And sing and dance..."
Dad: (pretentiously) "Batteries not included."
-Ha, ha... what?
-Oh, by the way, the parents in this movie... they never show up again after this opening scene. I mean, where do they go after shooting this scene?
-Plus, I'm pretty sure the parents would do as much as they can to connect with these kids by...
1. driving in the grayest rainy day ever
2. looking at the map
3. listening to the kids moan their "Are we there yet?" moans, and-
4. trying their damnest to not be invested in this movie whatsoever
-Plus, I'm pretty sure the parents would do as much as they can to connect with these kids by...
1. driving in the grayest rainy day ever
2. looking at the map
3. listening to the kids moan their "Are we there yet?" moans, and-
4. trying their damnest to not be invested in this movie whatsoever
Anyway, the girls love to have Barney with them, while Cody sulks about going to his grandparents' house... and about being around the Barney doll.
-Yeah, about Cody... you know how on the show, the kids would be appreciative and welcoming towards Barney whenever he swings by to hang out with them? Well, when it comes to this movie, I guess the writers wanted to change some of that. They wondered: Why not take one of the kids and make them feel embarrassed to be around Barney? Why not make that kid cold and bitter, and not letting anyone influence them whatsoever? Why don't we put in most of the character development in this kid, other than his friends or anyone else in this movie? And the result of this is...
Cody: "Get the doll out of my face."
-Yeah, they're really stocking up on anti-authority, especially for the 90's when this movie came out. In fact, in most kids' shows/movies, that was the norm: to be disrespectful and not care about what adults say, until later on in the show/movie, when they either learn their lesson or go through a transformation based on their current situation.
-By the way, the opening song is sung by... Bernadette Peters? Um... yeah, that French chick from Anastasia and Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas. Neat (I guess?).
Marcella and Abby: "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the face ain't home. Leave a message at the tone. Beep!"
-Heh, heh. I heard better comeback lines from Disney Channel has-beens.
During the car ride, they come across a town that's preparing for a festival.
-Starting to sense that this festival would become involved with the movie's conflict?
-And by the way, did you notice that the parents had switched seats?
I mean, the dad is now in the passenger's seat, and the mom is now the one driving. Did they just switch between scenes, or did they pull over and switch? No. My guess is that the movie did some editing, but somewhere forgot to know what the seating arrangements were for the family riding in this vehicle.
Grandparents' House:
So the family arrives at their destinations, as they meet with Grandma and Grandpa, played by Shirley Douglas and Broadway veteran George Hearn.
-Okay, good news. These folks will stick around more... but the parents still won't.
It turns out that the grandparents live on a farm...
-Not getting the vibe on the premise? Be neither.
Inside the House:
So Cody heads upstairs and sulks about being at his grandparents' house...
-Yeah, we can all assume that the parents ditched these kids already...
Cody: (sarcasm) "You only have scenery to look at... Yeah, great scenery..."
-Okay, Cody. I'm just gonna tell you right now. Just because it's the 90s, doesn't mean that you have to overdo it on the anti-authority and embarrassed-to-be-around-your-family phase. I know that your character is part of the plot and all, but lighten up!
Just then, the girls tease Cody with the Barney doll.
Cody snatches the doll, hides him in the shower, and forces the girls to "use their imaginations" to prove that Barney is real.
After a few moments of the two girls with their eyes closed, weird stuff starts happening like:
1. the shower turning on
2. the bathtub getting heavier, and...
3. the shower turning off
-Okay, since when did this start to become a horror movie? It's Barney the dinosaur! He's not that scary!
(Cody opening the shower curtain, and revealing Barney as his live self)
AAAAAGH! (Just kidding.)
So Barney, now breaking the laws of reality, greets the kids and, for some reason, knows that the girls want to play with him.
Barney: "Now what were we playing before, Abby?"
Abby: "We were playing a game of pretend, remember?"
-Okay, how did they come up with that in a millisecond?
So the threesome go to the barn to have fun, leaving Cody in disbelief.
Cody: "The dinosaur... (pause) A dinosaur? (pause) Barney the dinosaur?!"
-(mimicking Cody) It is Barney the dinosaur, right? Unless this is supposed to be Jurassic Park III... I won't be starring in that movie for another 3 years.
Barn scene:
So Cody meets up with Barney and the girls, and already he has a total disliking to the friendly dinosaur.
Cody: "Look pal! Real dinosaurs don't talk! And real dinosaurs don't laugh! Huh huh huh!"
-(giggling) I wonder how much this movie paid Cody to do a Barney-laugh impression. 5 grand? Or a million dollars? Then again, to this kid's credit, he sounded more like he was trying to imitate Daffy Duck.
Barney: "Well, I'm as real as your imagination!"
-By the way, no matter what scene Barney is in, he's always in a good mood, or at least, tries to stay in a good mood.
Barney:
"Well, we've better get started having fun right now!"
"Eggs-cellent!"
"Well, don't give up!" (and then he snaps his fingers to turn on some lights)
"...you could start by wishing on a star."
The possibilities are endless for this one-dimensional creature that only sees things in a positive manner.
Cody: "...but that doesn't explain-!"
Abby: "Cody! You don't have to explain."
-That's a good point... if you're playing pretend. But what if people take this explanation the wrong way and try this to get out of stuff or to prove something.
ex. 1
Explain why you ate all the cookies in the cookie jar!
"You don't have to explain."
ex. 2
Explain why you hit and teased your handicap cousin!
"You don't have to explain."
Your excuses don't explain why the family cat is now flying out of a tub of chemical waste and is eating people!
"You don't have to explain."
I mean, really think about it!
Barney: (singing) "Close your eye and you will find..."
-Finally, a song sung by some of the main characters. I'm still not sure why Bernadette Peters had to sing the opening song, even though she has little to do with the movie itself.
Barney and girls: (singing) "Imagine! Imagine that you can be anything you choose! Imagine! Imagine..."
-This song seems innocent enough when I was a kid; but as an adult, I'm listening to the song, while looking to see that Barney doesn't get too choose to these girls. I mean, look at how close he was to Abby here.
Barney and girls: (singing) "Imagine! Imagine, and life becomes a wonderful surprise..."
-And during this scene, all Cody is doing is being a sour grape about what the girls are "imagining."
Surely Cody has a better way to be more of a buzzkill when Barney is around...
Cody: "I... do not... believe in you."
-But obviously, that doesn't work, because...
Barney: "That's okay, Cody. I believe in you."
-(mimicking Barney) Face it, Cody. This movie can't function without me, seeing that I'm the title character. So, you're going to be seeing a lot more of me, whether you like it or not.
Cody: "Barney the dinosaur is not in this barn!"
-Okay, but... what are you gonna do about it?
Front porch (that night):
Cody: "I'm telling you, Barney's in your barn..."
-Wait a minute. You just finished saying that Barney wasn't in the barn... but now you're telling your grandparents that he is in the barn. That's confusing. Either Barney is in the barn or isn't.
So Cody tries to tell his grandparents about Barney, but they just assume that he's imagining things, but they never question the girls imagining things (for some odd reason).
Grandpa: "Cody, I first met your grandmother around your age..."
-Okay, all of a sudden, we get this weird segway of how Grandpa met Grandma, and... well, it doesn't really connect to the story in some way. Maybe George Hearn just wanted more screen time, seeing that he's from Broadway...
Grandpa: (singing) "Let me call you sweetheart. I'm in love with you..."
-Uh... is this warranting of a song? A song about how Grandpa met Grandma? We've just established that this doesn't connect to the story, and now you're singing about this thing that doesn't connect to the story?
-Well, to George Hearn's credit, he sings this song really well. But then again, maybe this movie decided to throw in this song, just so that it could get an advantage from a Broadway sensation like George Hearn.
Grandma: "Come on, handsome. You can help me with the dishes now."
-Oh look! We're back to the story now! I think...
Barney: "It's me!"
-Oh, okay! Now we're officially back to the story!
-Yeah, about Cody... you know how on the show, the kids would be appreciative and welcoming towards Barney whenever he swings by to hang out with them? Well, when it comes to this movie, I guess the writers wanted to change some of that. They wondered: Why not take one of the kids and make them feel embarrassed to be around Barney? Why not make that kid cold and bitter, and not letting anyone influence them whatsoever? Why don't we put in most of the character development in this kid, other than his friends or anyone else in this movie? And the result of this is...
Cody: "Get the doll out of my face."
-Yeah, they're really stocking up on anti-authority, especially for the 90's when this movie came out. In fact, in most kids' shows/movies, that was the norm: to be disrespectful and not care about what adults say, until later on in the show/movie, when they either learn their lesson or go through a transformation based on their current situation.
-By the way, the opening song is sung by... Bernadette Peters? Um... yeah, that French chick from Anastasia and Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas. Neat (I guess?).
Marcella and Abby: "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the face ain't home. Leave a message at the tone. Beep!"
-Heh, heh. I heard better comeback lines from Disney Channel has-beens.
During the car ride, they come across a town that's preparing for a festival.
-Starting to sense that this festival would become involved with the movie's conflict?
-And by the way, did you notice that the parents had switched seats?
I mean, the dad is now in the passenger's seat, and the mom is now the one driving. Did they just switch between scenes, or did they pull over and switch? No. My guess is that the movie did some editing, but somewhere forgot to know what the seating arrangements were for the family riding in this vehicle.
Grandparents' House:
So the family arrives at their destinations, as they meet with Grandma and Grandpa, played by Shirley Douglas and Broadway veteran George Hearn.
-Okay, good news. These folks will stick around more... but the parents still won't.
It turns out that the grandparents live on a farm...
-Not getting the vibe on the premise? Be neither.
Inside the House:
So Cody heads upstairs and sulks about being at his grandparents' house...
-Yeah, we can all assume that the parents ditched these kids already...
Cody: (sarcasm) "You only have scenery to look at... Yeah, great scenery..."
-Okay, Cody. I'm just gonna tell you right now. Just because it's the 90s, doesn't mean that you have to overdo it on the anti-authority and embarrassed-to-be-around-your-family phase. I know that your character is part of the plot and all, but lighten up!
Just then, the girls tease Cody with the Barney doll.
Cody snatches the doll, hides him in the shower, and forces the girls to "use their imaginations" to prove that Barney is real.
After a few moments of the two girls with their eyes closed, weird stuff starts happening like:
1. the shower turning on
2. the bathtub getting heavier, and...
3. the shower turning off
-Okay, since when did this start to become a horror movie? It's Barney the dinosaur! He's not that scary!
(Cody opening the shower curtain, and revealing Barney as his live self)
AAAAAGH! (Just kidding.)
So Barney, now breaking the laws of reality, greets the kids and, for some reason, knows that the girls want to play with him.
Barney: "Now what were we playing before, Abby?"
Abby: "We were playing a game of pretend, remember?"
-Okay, how did they come up with that in a millisecond?
So the threesome go to the barn to have fun, leaving Cody in disbelief.
Cody: "The dinosaur... (pause) A dinosaur? (pause) Barney the dinosaur?!"
-(mimicking Cody) It is Barney the dinosaur, right? Unless this is supposed to be Jurassic Park III... I won't be starring in that movie for another 3 years.
Barn scene:
So Cody meets up with Barney and the girls, and already he has a total disliking to the friendly dinosaur.
Cody: "Look pal! Real dinosaurs don't talk! And real dinosaurs don't laugh! Huh huh huh!"
-(giggling) I wonder how much this movie paid Cody to do a Barney-laugh impression. 5 grand? Or a million dollars? Then again, to this kid's credit, he sounded more like he was trying to imitate Daffy Duck.
Barney: "Well, I'm as real as your imagination!"
-By the way, no matter what scene Barney is in, he's always in a good mood, or at least, tries to stay in a good mood.
Barney:
"Well, we've better get started having fun right now!"
"Eggs-cellent!"
"Well, don't give up!" (and then he snaps his fingers to turn on some lights)
"...you could start by wishing on a star."
The possibilities are endless for this one-dimensional creature that only sees things in a positive manner.
Cody: "...but that doesn't explain-!"
Abby: "Cody! You don't have to explain."
-That's a good point... if you're playing pretend. But what if people take this explanation the wrong way and try this to get out of stuff or to prove something.
ex. 1
Explain why you ate all the cookies in the cookie jar!
"You don't have to explain."
ex. 2
Explain why you hit and teased your handicap cousin!
"You don't have to explain."
Your excuses don't explain why the family cat is now flying out of a tub of chemical waste and is eating people!
"You don't have to explain."
I mean, really think about it!
Barney: (singing) "Close your eye and you will find..."
-Finally, a song sung by some of the main characters. I'm still not sure why Bernadette Peters had to sing the opening song, even though she has little to do with the movie itself.
Barney and girls: (singing) "Imagine! Imagine that you can be anything you choose! Imagine! Imagine..."
-This song seems innocent enough when I was a kid; but as an adult, I'm listening to the song, while looking to see that Barney doesn't get too choose to these girls. I mean, look at how close he was to Abby here.
Barney and girls: (singing) "Imagine! Imagine, and life becomes a wonderful surprise..."
-And during this scene, all Cody is doing is being a sour grape about what the girls are "imagining."
Surely Cody has a better way to be more of a buzzkill when Barney is around...
Cody: "I... do not... believe in you."
-But obviously, that doesn't work, because...
Barney: "That's okay, Cody. I believe in you."
-(mimicking Barney) Face it, Cody. This movie can't function without me, seeing that I'm the title character. So, you're going to be seeing a lot more of me, whether you like it or not.
Cody: "Barney the dinosaur is not in this barn!"
-Okay, but... what are you gonna do about it?
Front porch (that night):
Cody: "I'm telling you, Barney's in your barn..."
-Wait a minute. You just finished saying that Barney wasn't in the barn... but now you're telling your grandparents that he is in the barn. That's confusing. Either Barney is in the barn or isn't.
So Cody tries to tell his grandparents about Barney, but they just assume that he's imagining things, but they never question the girls imagining things (for some odd reason).
Grandpa: "Cody, I first met your grandmother around your age..."
-Okay, all of a sudden, we get this weird segway of how Grandpa met Grandma, and... well, it doesn't really connect to the story in some way. Maybe George Hearn just wanted more screen time, seeing that he's from Broadway...
Grandpa: (singing) "Let me call you sweetheart. I'm in love with you..."
-Uh... is this warranting of a song? A song about how Grandpa met Grandma? We've just established that this doesn't connect to the story, and now you're singing about this thing that doesn't connect to the story?
-Well, to George Hearn's credit, he sings this song really well. But then again, maybe this movie decided to throw in this song, just so that it could get an advantage from a Broadway sensation like George Hearn.
Grandma: "Come on, handsome. You can help me with the dishes now."
-Oh look! We're back to the story now! I think...
Barney: "It's me!"
-Oh, okay! Now we're officially back to the story!
So Barney shows up for the second time, just after the grandparents leave to go inside. Cody is still not liking the idea of Barney showing up unexpectedly.
-Yeah, I would be questioning unexpected visits, too.
So, how is Barney going to make his second entrance?
Barney: "Ralph, a little guitar music please."
With a song, of course!
Barney: (singing) "Twinkle, twinkle, little star..."
-I guess this is warranting of a song, because for one, it's night time; and two, it's innocent enough.
-By the way, there's a dog in this movie named Ralph. And he's playing a guitar with his tail... you know that that's all BS, because dogs can't play a guitar unless they have hands and fingers.
But hey! It keeps the kids quiet for a while.
But hey! It keeps the kids quiet for a while.
-Speaking of kids, notice how both Marcella and Abby are just listening to Barney sing and how they get so into the song by joining in. It's like they can stay in that moment forever. It's like they're so into it or something. Yeah, because there's so much whimsy put into all of this that they have no choice.
Barney: "You know this song. So sing along."
-(pause) Did he just tell us to sing along? Yeah... there's gonna be some times that the characters will try to interact with the audience in this movie. Well, this seemed okay on the show, but in a movie? Well, at least he asked us to do something... no, I tell a lie. He didn't ask; he straight-up said to sing along. I mean, what if someone should say that they DON'T want to sing along?
(dog plays short different tune after the song ends)
Abby: "Awesome finish!"
Barney: "Well, actually, I think it was a flea."
-Heh hey... what?
So the girls go inside to play pretend, while Cody stays outside to mope some more.
Barney: "Aren't you going to play, Cody?"
Cody: "What, some stupid pretend game?"
-Geez, kid! Lighten up!
-You may notice, too, that Barney, through all of Cody's moping, is just calm about all of this... (pause) Can't you just tell that kid to lighten up?
So Barney tells Cody to try wishing on a star. Cody reluctantly tries.
Cody: "I wish I could have a real adventure this summer, and do things that no one else has done before."
-(mimicking Cody) And by 'adventure,' I mean going to the festival that was mentioned earlier, seeing that in the opening credits that the movie made it so obvious that we would go there, even though our parents just that we may or may not go... I mean, there has to be an adventure; otherwise, what's the point of entitling this movie, Barney's Great Adventure?
So the star shoots down to Earth and lands inside the barn to hide.
The next day:
Then we cut to the next day, where the girls meet up with Barney again (for the third time now), and Cody is still too embarassed to be around the purple dinosaur. Oh, what excuse does Cody have that warrants this major-attitude-ness? I mean, what's he trying to do?
Cody: "As little as possible, and try not to get dirty all over my new shoes..."
-Well, excuse me, Mr. I'm-not-at-all-invested-in-this-Barney-stuff-anymore!
Barney: "Well, we've better get started having fun right now!"
(song starts)
"Old Macdonald had a farm..."
-Oh good! Another song! Cody's moping and attitudeness can wait. We've got a song to sing!
-Okay, during this scene, I'm hardly listening to the song, because all I'm thinking about is the pointless, unfitting things that are going on during this song. I mean, here's one clip:
(Cody doing nothing interesting)
Not seeing it here? Then how about this clip?
(Cody stepping on shit)
Still not seeing it? Here's one more...
(Cody getting chased by a pig... for no apparent reason, whatsoever)
-By the way, how's that wish coming along?
Inside the Barn:
Inside the Barn:
So Cody finds something strange inside the barn. Barney and the girls show up, and they all see that a big, special egg has somehow found itself here.
Cody: "It's too big to come from a chicken."
Marcella: "Maybe it was a big, giant chicken?"
(everyone looks at her weird)
Marcella: "Or not..."
-Wait a minute, there's a certain time and place for imagination? It's like they're saying: Oh sure! There's nothing wrong with using your imagination... but there's a time-scale for using your imagination. For example, finding this mysterious egg has little room for imagination. So... um, shame on you.
As soon as the egg starts to change color, what are the kids to do?
But tell about the egg by going to their grandparents... and not bring the egg with them?
-What the hell?! They just leave the egg with Barney to go tell the grandparents! What's wrong with these kids?!
Anyways, as the gang leaves, guess who shows up...
Baby Bop: "Oh! Hello! My name is Baby Bop!"
That's right! It's Baby Bop. And you won't believe what'll serve as this movie's running gag...
Baby Bop: "...I'm looking for my blankie. It's lost..."
-Uh, Baby Bop? Do you mind stepping aside? We're in the middle of shooting a movie here...
Baby Bop: "Have you seen it? It's this big, and it's really really soft. And it's yellow. Do you know where my blankie is?"
-(pause) Oh! I'm sorry. Were we supposed to answer that? Because it's so obvious that the dog behind you has your blankie, if you just turn around...
I mean, again, some people will cooperate, and some people won't... It's obvious that they're talking towards the kids, and that's understandable. But can we get back to the story?
So, with the grandparents being none-the-wiser, our gang of friends saddle up on their adventure to visit a woman name Mrs. Goldfinch, who, for some reason, the family knows...
-Makes sense to me...
Forest:
...and if that wasn't conveniently cliched enough, then take this scene where the kids are riding on a horse with Barney leading the way.
-I mean, look at it. Doesn't this totally remind you of so many other venturing-through-a-creepy-forest-and/or-setting-either-on-foot-or-horseback?
(clip 1)
Uh, the hallway scene from Lamb Chop in the Haunted Studio...
(clip 2)
Um, the forest scene from Beauty and the Beast...
Mrs. Goldfinch's place:
So the friends finally make it to Mrs. Goldfinch, who owns...
(pause)
...the most beautiful, extravagant resort of a garden that a whimsically-forced movie can buy.
-No kidding! The place is that amazing! I wonder how much money was put into all of this, so that there would be this wonderful, creative environment.
($15,000,000)
-Wow. According to Wikipedia, a reported $15,000,000 was put into this movie. And I betcha most of the budget was used to bring this garden-place to life. I mean, here, you can tell that the money is on the screen. But why not use the budget money to have less grayer scenes and have better cinematography?
Anyway, Barney and the kids meet Mrs. Goldfinch and ask her about the egg that they've found.
So the woman invites the gang into her house, which is also wonderful and creative.
-Clearly the budget money is visible throughout this whole house!
Well, what's more whimsical than this luxurious place... than another song?
Barney (singing): "Can you tell us what's inside the egg?"
-Now I'll admit, this song does fit the spirit of this movie. Because, for the most part, they don't show what's in the egg until they get to the climax. So, fair enough, movie.
-Even the choreography is neat to look at, because it matches the song.
Anyway, the egg turns another color, and it isn't long before one of these people finds a book about this particular egg.
-So basically, looking at the other books during that musical number was a waste of time?
So the gang reads the book to figure out what this egg is:
Mrs. Goldfinch: "...there's a dream-maker inside of it... Every thousand years or so, an egg falls from the skies. Inside the shell, a dream-maker prepares its big surprise... who has a gift to share for boys and girls around the world to children everywhere. But mark you well, the very spot where the egg was found, for when the colors all have changed, it must hatch on this ground..."
-(pause) Since when did this become a prophecy story?
Anyway, the gang learns that Cody found the egg inside the barn, and they decide to go back there to make sure the egg hatches safely, and thus completes their quest...
-(pause) How many minutes have gone by in this movie?
37 minutes 11 seconds
And how long is this movie supposed to be?
76 minutes
So I assume that we're just now going into the second half of the movie? Yeah, because if there's one thing that this audience expects from Barney the dinosaur is more storylines and more plot devices...
Why not start by having this scene where Cody accidentally loses the egg, which falls into the delivery truck?
And to make matters worse, the delivery guy drives off without knowing about the egg being in his truck.
And while we're at it, why not have the gang dress up in Roman attire to chase down the truck...
...while we randomly cut to the delivery guy... cooking his burger and fries while driving?
-Shouldn't he be stopped by a cop for cooking and driving?
(cutting to the parade)
Baby Bop: (on microphone) "I'm looking for my blankie. It's this big..."
-Go try the Lost and Found!
-You know what? This scene is too silly, so I'm gonna go ahead and fast-forward.
>> (fast-forward)
So Barney and friends make it to the festival and find the egg in the middle of a parade.
-Again, the budget for this movie is on the screen. I mean, look at these performers. They had to be from Cirque du Soleil!
After the egg changes to its third color...
...and after a mishap with a tuba, the egg flies into the arms of... (you guested it) BJ...
....who... for some reason, throws the egg away into some woman's hat...
...who's going into a fancy restaurant...
-(sarcasm) Great move, B-Jerk...
Restaurant scene:
So the gang makes it inside the restaurant, where they come up with a new plan to catch the egg... by Barney singing to the patrons, while the kids go through people's food to look for the egg.
-Kinda rude, on the kids' part. But Barney? I must be out of my mind or something, but Barney is a riot!
Barney: (singing) "Ah! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah!"
So after that musical number, the gang learns from one of the waiters that the egg is heading to a nearby circus.
Circus:
Barney and friends head to the circus, only to find that a juggler has it. And, does he give it to them?
NO! He throws the egg up to... who knows where! And then it starts to rain, forcing our heroes to run for cover inside a tent.
Inside the tent:
This, of course, puts Cody in a bad mood again; but the girls have had enough with his attitude.
Cody: "We already looked around! We're not gonna find it! We lost it!"
Abby: (to Cody) "You don't even want to find it! You never did!"
Cody: "No..."
Abby: "It's 'crazy kids' stuff"!"
Cody: "No..."
Abby: "What's wrong with just being a kid, Cody? What's wrong with that?"
-Now, that's a good point. I mean, in the majority of the movie, Cody has been this stick-in-the-mud kid that doesn't want to be childish like Abby and Marcella. All this time, he's refused to believe in Barney. All he cared about is getting things done. I think the thought process for the focal point of the movie is that if we show kids that growing up too fast sucks, and that just being and acting like kids is okay, then it would deem worthy of a moral. So yeah. I'm siding with Abby: why doesn't Cody just be a kid?
So, how does our happy-go-lucky dinosaur lighten things up on this argument scene? He sings another song, of course!
Barney: (singing) "We're gonna find a way!"
-And just like the song with Mrs. Goldfinch, this song also fits the spirit of this movie's adventure.
-Now, during this scene, I'm a little iffy on why Barney had to hold one of the kids like he did at some point...
-Lastly, out of all the songs in this movie, only this song is motivational.
In other words, this is the only song that basically says: Don't give up! Complete this quest!
So, as you can imagine, Cody is finally pro-Barney.
So that means that they can continue their search for the egg.
Outside:
So the gang learns from another random person that the egg is on a hot balloon.
So... how will they get up there? Cody then has an idea that if they use their imaginations, they could turn a simple log into an airplane.
But hey, who are they gonna turn to, so that they could make this plane fly?
Barney: (to audience) "I think we need your help! I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly! Let's all do it together! Ready?"
-(pause) It depends. Are you asking the kids that, or the whole audience in general? Lamb Chop's Play Along was more specific than this.
(the log moves)
Barney: (to audience) "Thank you!"
-That log moved because of me? I didn't even count down with Barney. All I did was just sit there. Well, to this movie's credit, Barney at least asked you to do something. But I wonder how this would turn out if a movie/show did something and then thanked the audience for it.
ex. 1:
(a rock falling on Drake)
Thank you for dropping that huge rock on that egotistical bad guy, because he reminded us too much of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast!
ex. 2:
(Dr. Blowhole having candy shot into his blowhole)
Thank you for suffocating Dr. Blowhole with that improbable head shot, because he bragged about how his technology was better than Kowalski's. Kowalski thanks you too!
ex. 3
(liquid gold drowning Smaug)
Thank you for dumping liquid gold on Smaug, in hopes of trapping him, so that he won't terrorize a town...
Oops! He got out. Um... nice try though.
Up in the air:
So the gang rides their plane to the hot air balloon that has their egg hostage, and... wouldn't you know it: the guy agrees to help them.
-Yeah, of all the people that these friends run into, only Mrs. Goldfinch, the hot air balloon guy, and the guy with the stilts and funny binoculars were the most helpful. Everyone else were either stupid or just blew them off.
So the hot air balloon guy releases the egg to them... WITHOUT LETTING THEM GET TO A SUITABLE POSITION FIRST BEFORE RELEASING IT!
-I mean, that plan would've worked, but it takes patience and cooperation!
But luckily, the kids catch the egg before it can fall to its doom. As for the plane...
-(giggling) I'll admit that the plane falling from the sky and into a pile of hay was kinda funny with all the yelling and screaming.
Kids: "Oh no! He let it go too soon!"
Cody: "You'll break the sound barrier!"
Cody: "IT WON'T PULL UP!"
Back at Grandparents' House:
So the kids finally return to the grandparents with lots to tell about their adventure.
Grandma: "I think you should start from the beginning."
Cody: "The very beginning?"
Grandma: "The very beginning."
-(mimicking Grandma) And may I remind you that your grandpa and I were in 20% of the movie, so you may want to speak a little slowly and clearly, so that you can remind us what this movie was about again.
The kids finally introduce them to Barney...
And... BJ (for some reason).
-I guess BJ snuck in from the back of the set? I don't know.
But, there's no time for games, because the egg glows it's final color, and everyone must hurry to get it inside the barn.
-(pause) How do they botch it up with more suspense?
Cody trips, and the egg goes flying in the air.
-(pause)Why?
So that Baby Bop can show up (with her blankie) to save the egg from falling to its demise.
-(sarcasm) How convenient.
-And for that matter, was the running gag with Baby Bop's blankie leading up to this? I mean, come on! The running gag of Larry the Cucumber's singing when he wasn't supposed to in Lyle the Kindly Viking (a "musical") made more sense than this!
Inside the Barn:
So everyone gathers to see the egg finally hatch as a shooting star hits it, making the egg crack.
The egg reveals a koala-like creature simply known as the Dream-Maker (as prophesied in Mrs. Goldfinch's book).
-Mammals don't come from eggs... unless it's a platypus or something. I don't know.
Anyway, everyone interacts with the Dream-Maker, as the creature looks into Abby's dream of being a horse jockey when she grows up.
So they learn that the Dream-Maker can see into people's dreams and make them clearer, so that they're most likely to come true.
And, of course, Cody makes amends with Barney...
and then everyone goes outside to see what the Dream-Maker would show them next.
It turns out that the creature is showing Barney's dream.
Barney: "It's a special time, a special place, and sharing it all with the people I love."
-Are you sure your dream is not making a comeback to theaters or TV whatsoever? Because by now, you should have been retro.
So the movie ends with everyone singing the "I Love You" song, BJ and Baby Bop leaving, and Barney returning to his doll self and sitting with the koala bear.
And that was Barney's Great Adventure. So, seeing that it was Barney's shot at being in theaters, does it hold up?
Yeah, I know all the critics were harsh on this movie, but who cares? I mean, of all the Barney specials (whether direct-to-video, in theaters, or those on-the-road live performances), this movie took the most risks with a $15,000,000 budget. It was sad to see that the movie got back only 3/4 of its money, but that doesn't matter. Sure, this movie wasn't Disney; but in some ways, it felt like something that would come from Disney, but it was still non-Disney.
It almost worked, with the cinematography, story, and characters. The focal point of the movie was decent, because it stuck to it the whole movie, and it showed some character development in that. As for the story, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, because it was supposed to be like a road trip with little to no rules, and it pandered to simply forgetting your problems for a day. I mean, that was how I looked at it, when I was kid watching this.
Sure, this movie may have had its awkward moments, but it's still Barney. I don't care if this movie has problems; I don't care if it's over-the-top on whimsical moments. You can't help but feel that spirit of being a kid when you watch this movie. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I dare you to check it out on Google or Youtube to decide for yourself.
Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Barney's Great Adventure
Lamb Chop in the Haunted Studio
Beauty and the Beast
The Pebble and the Penguin
Penguins of Madagascar
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Courtesy: Polygram/Lyricks Studios, Shari Lewis, Disney, Don Bluth (MGM Studios), DreamWorks Animation, and Warner Bros.
Cody: "It's too big to come from a chicken."
Marcella: "Maybe it was a big, giant chicken?"
(everyone looks at her weird)
Marcella: "Or not..."
-Wait a minute, there's a certain time and place for imagination? It's like they're saying: Oh sure! There's nothing wrong with using your imagination... but there's a time-scale for using your imagination. For example, finding this mysterious egg has little room for imagination. So... um, shame on you.
As soon as the egg starts to change color, what are the kids to do?
But tell about the egg by going to their grandparents... and not bring the egg with them?
-What the hell?! They just leave the egg with Barney to go tell the grandparents! What's wrong with these kids?!
Anyways, as the gang leaves, guess who shows up...
Baby Bop: "Oh! Hello! My name is Baby Bop!"
That's right! It's Baby Bop. And you won't believe what'll serve as this movie's running gag...
Baby Bop: "...I'm looking for my blankie. It's lost..."
-Uh, Baby Bop? Do you mind stepping aside? We're in the middle of shooting a movie here...
Baby Bop: "Have you seen it? It's this big, and it's really really soft. And it's yellow. Do you know where my blankie is?"
-(pause) Oh! I'm sorry. Were we supposed to answer that? Because it's so obvious that the dog behind you has your blankie, if you just turn around...
I mean, again, some people will cooperate, and some people won't... It's obvious that they're talking towards the kids, and that's understandable. But can we get back to the story?
So, with the grandparents being none-the-wiser, our gang of friends saddle up on their adventure to visit a woman name Mrs. Goldfinch, who, for some reason, the family knows...
-Makes sense to me...
Forest:
...and if that wasn't conveniently cliched enough, then take this scene where the kids are riding on a horse with Barney leading the way.
-I mean, look at it. Doesn't this totally remind you of so many other venturing-through-a-creepy-forest-and/or-setting-either-on-foot-or-horseback?
(clip 1)
Uh, the hallway scene from Lamb Chop in the Haunted Studio...
(clip 2)
Um, the forest scene from Beauty and the Beast...
Mrs. Goldfinch's place:
So the friends finally make it to Mrs. Goldfinch, who owns...
(pause)
...the most beautiful, extravagant resort of a garden that a whimsically-forced movie can buy.
-No kidding! The place is that amazing! I wonder how much money was put into all of this, so that there would be this wonderful, creative environment.
($15,000,000)
-Wow. According to Wikipedia, a reported $15,000,000 was put into this movie. And I betcha most of the budget was used to bring this garden-place to life. I mean, here, you can tell that the money is on the screen. But why not use the budget money to have less grayer scenes and have better cinematography?
Anyway, Barney and the kids meet Mrs. Goldfinch and ask her about the egg that they've found.
So the woman invites the gang into her house, which is also wonderful and creative.
-Clearly the budget money is visible throughout this whole house!
Well, what's more whimsical than this luxurious place... than another song?
Barney (singing): "Can you tell us what's inside the egg?"
-Now I'll admit, this song does fit the spirit of this movie. Because, for the most part, they don't show what's in the egg until they get to the climax. So, fair enough, movie.
-Even the choreography is neat to look at, because it matches the song.
Anyway, the egg turns another color, and it isn't long before one of these people finds a book about this particular egg.
-So basically, looking at the other books during that musical number was a waste of time?
So the gang reads the book to figure out what this egg is:
Mrs. Goldfinch: "...there's a dream-maker inside of it... Every thousand years or so, an egg falls from the skies. Inside the shell, a dream-maker prepares its big surprise... who has a gift to share for boys and girls around the world to children everywhere. But mark you well, the very spot where the egg was found, for when the colors all have changed, it must hatch on this ground..."
-(pause) Since when did this become a prophecy story?
Anyway, the gang learns that Cody found the egg inside the barn, and they decide to go back there to make sure the egg hatches safely, and thus completes their quest...
-(pause) How many minutes have gone by in this movie?
37 minutes 11 seconds
And how long is this movie supposed to be?
76 minutes
So I assume that we're just now going into the second half of the movie? Yeah, because if there's one thing that this audience expects from Barney the dinosaur is more storylines and more plot devices...
Why not start by having this scene where Cody accidentally loses the egg, which falls into the delivery truck?
And to make matters worse, the delivery guy drives off without knowing about the egg being in his truck.
And while we're at it, why not have the gang dress up in Roman attire to chase down the truck...
...while we randomly cut to the delivery guy... cooking his burger and fries while driving?
-Shouldn't he be stopped by a cop for cooking and driving?
(cutting to the parade)
Baby Bop: (on microphone) "I'm looking for my blankie. It's this big..."
-Go try the Lost and Found!
-You know what? This scene is too silly, so I'm gonna go ahead and fast-forward.
>> (fast-forward)
So Barney and friends make it to the festival and find the egg in the middle of a parade.
-Again, the budget for this movie is on the screen. I mean, look at these performers. They had to be from Cirque du Soleil!
After the egg changes to its third color...
...and after a mishap with a tuba, the egg flies into the arms of... (you guested it) BJ...
....who... for some reason, throws the egg away into some woman's hat...
...who's going into a fancy restaurant...
-(sarcasm) Great move, B-Jerk...
Restaurant scene:
So the gang makes it inside the restaurant, where they come up with a new plan to catch the egg... by Barney singing to the patrons, while the kids go through people's food to look for the egg.
-Kinda rude, on the kids' part. But Barney? I must be out of my mind or something, but Barney is a riot!
Barney: (singing) "Ah! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah!"
So after that musical number, the gang learns from one of the waiters that the egg is heading to a nearby circus.
Circus:
Barney and friends head to the circus, only to find that a juggler has it. And, does he give it to them?
NO! He throws the egg up to... who knows where! And then it starts to rain, forcing our heroes to run for cover inside a tent.
Inside the tent:
This, of course, puts Cody in a bad mood again; but the girls have had enough with his attitude.
Cody: "We already looked around! We're not gonna find it! We lost it!"
Abby: (to Cody) "You don't even want to find it! You never did!"
Cody: "No..."
Abby: "It's 'crazy kids' stuff"!"
Cody: "No..."
Abby: "What's wrong with just being a kid, Cody? What's wrong with that?"
-Now, that's a good point. I mean, in the majority of the movie, Cody has been this stick-in-the-mud kid that doesn't want to be childish like Abby and Marcella. All this time, he's refused to believe in Barney. All he cared about is getting things done. I think the thought process for the focal point of the movie is that if we show kids that growing up too fast sucks, and that just being and acting like kids is okay, then it would deem worthy of a moral. So yeah. I'm siding with Abby: why doesn't Cody just be a kid?
So, how does our happy-go-lucky dinosaur lighten things up on this argument scene? He sings another song, of course!
Barney: (singing) "We're gonna find a way!"
-And just like the song with Mrs. Goldfinch, this song also fits the spirit of this movie's adventure.
-Now, during this scene, I'm a little iffy on why Barney had to hold one of the kids like he did at some point...
-Lastly, out of all the songs in this movie, only this song is motivational.
In other words, this is the only song that basically says: Don't give up! Complete this quest!
So, as you can imagine, Cody is finally pro-Barney.
So that means that they can continue their search for the egg.
Outside:
So the gang learns from another random person that the egg is on a hot balloon.
So... how will they get up there? Cody then has an idea that if they use their imaginations, they could turn a simple log into an airplane.
But hey, who are they gonna turn to, so that they could make this plane fly?
Barney: (to audience) "I think we need your help! I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly! Let's all do it together! Ready?"
-(pause) It depends. Are you asking the kids that, or the whole audience in general? Lamb Chop's Play Along was more specific than this.
(the log moves)
Barney: (to audience) "Thank you!"
-That log moved because of me? I didn't even count down with Barney. All I did was just sit there. Well, to this movie's credit, Barney at least asked you to do something. But I wonder how this would turn out if a movie/show did something and then thanked the audience for it.
ex. 1:
(a rock falling on Drake)
Thank you for dropping that huge rock on that egotistical bad guy, because he reminded us too much of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast!
ex. 2:
(Dr. Blowhole having candy shot into his blowhole)
Thank you for suffocating Dr. Blowhole with that improbable head shot, because he bragged about how his technology was better than Kowalski's. Kowalski thanks you too!
ex. 3
(liquid gold drowning Smaug)
Thank you for dumping liquid gold on Smaug, in hopes of trapping him, so that he won't terrorize a town...
Oops! He got out. Um... nice try though.
Up in the air:
So the gang rides their plane to the hot air balloon that has their egg hostage, and... wouldn't you know it: the guy agrees to help them.
-Yeah, of all the people that these friends run into, only Mrs. Goldfinch, the hot air balloon guy, and the guy with the stilts and funny binoculars were the most helpful. Everyone else were either stupid or just blew them off.
So the hot air balloon guy releases the egg to them... WITHOUT LETTING THEM GET TO A SUITABLE POSITION FIRST BEFORE RELEASING IT!
-I mean, that plan would've worked, but it takes patience and cooperation!
But luckily, the kids catch the egg before it can fall to its doom. As for the plane...
-(giggling) I'll admit that the plane falling from the sky and into a pile of hay was kinda funny with all the yelling and screaming.
Kids: "Oh no! He let it go too soon!"
Cody: "You'll break the sound barrier!"
Cody: "IT WON'T PULL UP!"
Back at Grandparents' House:
So the kids finally return to the grandparents with lots to tell about their adventure.
Grandma: "I think you should start from the beginning."
Cody: "The very beginning?"
Grandma: "The very beginning."
-(mimicking Grandma) And may I remind you that your grandpa and I were in 20% of the movie, so you may want to speak a little slowly and clearly, so that you can remind us what this movie was about again.
The kids finally introduce them to Barney...
And... BJ (for some reason).
-I guess BJ snuck in from the back of the set? I don't know.
But, there's no time for games, because the egg glows it's final color, and everyone must hurry to get it inside the barn.
-(pause) How do they botch it up with more suspense?
Cody trips, and the egg goes flying in the air.
-(pause)Why?
So that Baby Bop can show up (with her blankie) to save the egg from falling to its demise.
-(sarcasm) How convenient.
-And for that matter, was the running gag with Baby Bop's blankie leading up to this? I mean, come on! The running gag of Larry the Cucumber's singing when he wasn't supposed to in Lyle the Kindly Viking (a "musical") made more sense than this!
Inside the Barn:
So everyone gathers to see the egg finally hatch as a shooting star hits it, making the egg crack.
The egg reveals a koala-like creature simply known as the Dream-Maker (as prophesied in Mrs. Goldfinch's book).
-Mammals don't come from eggs... unless it's a platypus or something. I don't know.
Anyway, everyone interacts with the Dream-Maker, as the creature looks into Abby's dream of being a horse jockey when she grows up.
So they learn that the Dream-Maker can see into people's dreams and make them clearer, so that they're most likely to come true.
And, of course, Cody makes amends with Barney...
and then everyone goes outside to see what the Dream-Maker would show them next.
It turns out that the creature is showing Barney's dream.
Barney: "It's a special time, a special place, and sharing it all with the people I love."
-Are you sure your dream is not making a comeback to theaters or TV whatsoever? Because by now, you should have been retro.
So the movie ends with everyone singing the "I Love You" song, BJ and Baby Bop leaving, and Barney returning to his doll self and sitting with the koala bear.
And that was Barney's Great Adventure. So, seeing that it was Barney's shot at being in theaters, does it hold up?
Yeah, I know all the critics were harsh on this movie, but who cares? I mean, of all the Barney specials (whether direct-to-video, in theaters, or those on-the-road live performances), this movie took the most risks with a $15,000,000 budget. It was sad to see that the movie got back only 3/4 of its money, but that doesn't matter. Sure, this movie wasn't Disney; but in some ways, it felt like something that would come from Disney, but it was still non-Disney.
It almost worked, with the cinematography, story, and characters. The focal point of the movie was decent, because it stuck to it the whole movie, and it showed some character development in that. As for the story, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, because it was supposed to be like a road trip with little to no rules, and it pandered to simply forgetting your problems for a day. I mean, that was how I looked at it, when I was kid watching this.
Sure, this movie may have had its awkward moments, but it's still Barney. I don't care if this movie has problems; I don't care if it's over-the-top on whimsical moments. You can't help but feel that spirit of being a kid when you watch this movie. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I dare you to check it out on Google or Youtube to decide for yourself.
Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Barney's Great Adventure
Lamb Chop in the Haunted Studio
Beauty and the Beast
The Pebble and the Penguin
Penguins of Madagascar
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Courtesy: Polygram/Lyricks Studios, Shari Lewis, Disney, Don Bluth (MGM Studios), DreamWorks Animation, and Warner Bros.
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